So, you want to hop on your skateboard, BMX bike, or inline skates and shred your way to victory in a racing game? Well, strap in, because "3Xtreme" wants to take you on a ride that's as wild as trying to balance a pizza on your scooter. Released in the twilight of the 90s, this game tries to claim three times the fun—spoiler alert: it mostly delivers on the cringe.
In 3Xtreme, you pick your poison: skateboard, bike, or skates. It’s like a buffet of wheeled chaos but with less flavor. The game has more than 22 courses, mostly recycled from its predecessor, 2Xtreme. It’s like getting your uncle's old VHS tapes for Christmas instead of the new game you wanted. Your main goal? Show off your "sick tricks" and earn points, because apparently, racing is just a secondary objective here. You'll be rail sliding, grabbing your board, and doing 360 flips like you're trying to impress a judge on America's Got Talent. Spoiler: the judges are not impressed. But don't let the simplicity of each stage fool you—doing tricks is the focus, which sounds fun until you realize that you're buttons-mashing through grueling tracks that could easily be mistaken for your local skate park’s back alley. But hey, if tricking your way to the finish line is your cup of tea, who am I to judge? Just be prepared for a lot of falling flat on your face (and by that, I mean crashing your character repeatedly). Seriously! Ever tried to land a jump while getting pelted by bad controls? It’s an art. An annoying, frustrating art. And if you have a buddy who enjoys torturing you, grab them for a multiplayer mode where you can rage against each other. Just imagine the tension when both of you try to pull off a 720 on a ramp while yelling oaths originally intended for people who stole your fries!
The graphics are about as polygonal as a post-movie transformation scene from a 90s sci-fi flick. It's like they tried to bring to life those childhood doodles you made in school but forgot to give them proper color. Sure, they went for a polygonal look to represent the realism of skateboarding and cycling, but let's be real—the resulting visuals come off more like a rough draft of an art project than a finished vaunted masterpiece. You can literally count the polygons, and I’m not saying they made a bold choice—I’m saying it’s painfully outdated even for its time.
In conclusion, 3Xtreme is a game that claims to be 'extreme' but feels more like that awkward friend at parties who just sits in the corner while the fun happens elsewhere. The concept could have been exhilarating with a competent execution, but alas, you might find yourself resurrecting your old PlayStation out of curiosity more than a genuine interest. It’s not a total wipeout; there’s some fun to be had in mounting your skateboard and bailing incessantly on every trick, but don’t expect to be wowed. 3Xtreme is like the third sequel no one asked for but we all got stuck with anyway. So, unless you’re in the mood for a nostalgia trip back to when 'extreme' meant terrible graphics and awkward controls, you might want to steer clear of this one. 3 out of 10—mostly for the laughs and less for the gameplay. Now if you excuse me, I have to go check how my geriatric parents are handling their new skateboards.