the mid-90s! A time when everyone was wearing oversized clothing and pretending they knew what 'cultural appropriation' meant. In this whirlwind of flannel shirts and questionable fashion choices, we find ourselves booting up 'Adidas Power Soccer International 97' for the PlayStation, where every character is a pixelated soccer star or just a regular guy dreaming of being one. Spoiler alert: Most of them probably missed practice once too often.
Now, let’s talk gameplay. Adidas Power Soccer International 97 comes with two modes: Arcade and Simulation, much like your friends who want to either play foosball or take a real kick to their ego. In Arcade mode, players can kick, punch, and handball like a bunch of five-year-olds after too much sugar. For the purists, Simulation mode rules the roost, making sure you actually follow soccer etiquette (like offsides and other such boring things). You can choose from 56 national teams—if only they had more team colors than variations of blue and red! Oh, and let's not forget the flashy Super Power Predator shot that essentially says, "Why bother with skill when you can just hit the button and look cool?" Multiplayer mode can get wild if you’re brave enough to invite three friends, but beware: A Multitap could lead to friendships ending faster than a referee's whistle! Commentary by Brian Moore adds a touch of class, even when your skills on the field are so tragic they could spark a documentary.
Graphically, Adidas Power Soccer International 97 is as chunky as your uncle’s old desktop computer. The characters seem to have been modeled in an impressive sculpting session of a third-grade art class, not exactly winning any beauty pageants. The animations are smoother than a freshly waxed floor, but let’s just say, they wouldn’t hold up in today’s standards. Overall, unless you have a profound affection for the aesthetic of the 90s, your eyes might just roll back into your head in despair at the sight of player models that look like they would fall over if a breeze hit them too hard.
In summary, while Adidas Power Soccer International 97 tries to make a name for itself in a world desperately filled with thrilling soccer games, it stumbles out of the gate like a toddler learning to walk. With outdated graphics and gameplay that insists on simulating real soccer (which is, by the way, already pretty slow), it struggles to impress. Honestly, the soundtrack could’ve used a turbo charge of cool to make you forget about your players running like it’s a leisurely jog through the park. So, if you fancy yourself a soccer enthusiast looking for nostalgia wrapped in mediocrity, sure, go ahead and give this game a shot. But know this: a ball is round, but sometimes the fun isn’t quite as spherical. Stick to FIFA if you really want to have a kick!