Introduction

Welcome, brave gamers, to the world of 'Ancient Roman: Power of Dark Side' where you can experience history...or at least what someone thought history would be like after ingesting a banquet's worth of questionable spaghetti and bad ideas. This role-playing game, released exclusively in Japan, aims high but lands harder than a Roman gladiator in a trampoline park. Strap in as we dissect its characters, story arcs, and much more. Spoiler alert: It's not pleasant.

Gameplay

Our hero, Kai Orpheus, starts with a backstory that could have been ripped from a half-baked myth. Kidnapped as a child by a demon (because, you know, that’s what demons are for—kidnapping innocent children), Kai grows up in the charming ambiance of a mine, slaving away like that one friend who always ends up doing everyone else's group work. Eventually, he overhears a dastardly plot to murder all the enslaved miners—the equivalent of finding out your favorite pizza place has been using expired toppings. So, what does he do? He escapes, obviously, and the real fun begins. The gameplay is a convoluted mix of turn-based battles, running in circles, and finding out just how small the tiny town map really is compared to all those pre-rendered backgrounds (it's like trying to fit a rhinoceros in a Mini Cooper). Expect to be confused, lost, and potentially frustrated while you take on enemies that seem almost as clueless as the game designers.

Graphics

Visually, this game is what you’d expect from a relic of the ‘90s in the worse sense. The 3D graphics definitely scream ‘I was once moderately impressive!’ but have aged like that questionable cheese in your fridge. Character models are so tiny compared to the beautifully rendered backgrounds that you might wonder if they’re merely props in a bizarrely detailed stage play about ancient Rome. And let’s not even get started on the battle graphics. Enemies look like they might explode into origami frogs when defeated—yes, really. It’s surreal, and not in the ‘wow, that’s stunning’ kind of way, rather in the ‘I want to cry or laugh, maybe both’ sort. If you were hoping for breathtaking visuals—a common expectation in RPGs—then you’re about to have a massive reality check.

Conclusion

In conclusion, 'Ancient Roman: Power of Dark Side' is like that embarrassing family vacation photo that everyone laughs about but nobody wants to hang on the wall. The attempts at character development are overshadowed by the sheer ridiculousness of Kai’s journey, and the graphics feel like a love letter from 1998 that got lost in the mail for decades. While it’s received nothing but negativity from critics—getting a score of 21/40 from Famitsu—it has found a strange niche in the hearts of kusoge fans who appreciate it for being bad in the most lovable way imaginable. If you’re looking for an experience that makes you appreciate the better games in the genre or simply want to enjoy some unintentional comedy, grab a copy of this ancient calamity. Otherwise, it's best left in the annals of gaming history—dusty and forgotten, right next to that old pizza coupon you never used.

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