In a world where aliens are invading like the worst house guests ever, 'Armorines: Project S.W.A.R.M.' challenges you to strap on a futuristic suit and blast spider-like creatures back to their home planet. It's like 'Starship Troopers' but with way more questionable design choices. Buckle up; it's going to be an awkwardly nostalgic ride!
So, here's the thing about 'Armorines.' You get to choose between two dashing heroes: Tony Lewis, a guy who likes it heavy and slow — perfect for those lazy couch potato days — and Myra Lane, a zippy little sprite who can't be bothered to yell at the screen when she misses (a bonus for her!). Each character has a unique starting weapon and three additional weapons to unlock throughout the game. Tony's got the big boom gun, while Myra's armed with something that goes 'pew pew' faster than the New Year's Eve countdown. Your mission? Yeah, just annihilate what seems like an endless swarm of overachieving bugs that must've aced their SATs in strategy or something. But hang on, it’s not just a button-mashing fest. Players need to use their wits, quickly switch between weapons, and maintain a level of mobility that would make an Olympic gymnast proud. You'll want to avoid becoming bug buffet; treat it like a still frame from 'Bug's Life'—only this time, there's no sweet nectar to save you. On the multiplayer side, there's a co-op campaign—you know, for those moments when you just can't take down the alien overlords alone—where the challenge ramps up. You might even feel the urge to text your buddy, "Help! These bugs are persisting like bad credit!" There’s also a classic versus mode with a nostalgic variety of game types: Deathmatch, Racewars (be the bug or the Marine – it’s a real existential question), Capture the Flag, and King of the Hill. If that sounds good to you, then get your friends in your living room, because the laughter from the chaos is almost guaranteed! However, prepare for a learning curve. This isn't exactly a stroll through a butterfly garden. Getting through the levels will demand some skillful planning and more than a few respawns. If you're not careful, the game will remind you why your parents always warned against pushing your luck.
Now, the graphics. Imagine a beautiful sunset... if that sunset was an alien planet littered with low-budget visuals. The PlayStation wasn’t just known for its state-of-the-art graphics in 2000; it gave birth to a plethora of mildly forgettable games with rough-around-the-edges designs. The environmental detail isn’t exactly inspiring—think ‘A Bug’s Life’ meets ‘I Just Want To Get Through This Level’ feeling. Still, if you squint really hard and crank the brightness, some of those alien hordes might just look cool to you. The cutscenes can be awkwardly animated, showcasing some of the most ridiculous facial expressions as characters discuss how they’re about to get eaten alive. Who knew the end of the world could have a comedic twist?
'Armorines: Project S.W.A.R.M.' is a challenging trip down memory lane for die-hard fans of early FPS games, as well as players with a penchant for punishing difficulty. It might not be the most polished title, and the graphics would benefit from an intervention, but if you revel in the challenge and don’t mind a little cringe, it offers some nostalgic fun. Just be prepared to get a bit frustrated with those respawns, because, let’s face it, a well-deserved dose of insect spray can sometimes be harder to find than the last remaining life in just about any gaming scenario. In the end, if you enjoy a game where you can ask, "Why can’t I hit anything right?" while laughing uncontrollably at your own demise, then this might just fit the bill!
Another SquareThought Site