Introduction

Extreme Pinball was released back in the day when the only thing more extreme than the video games was the hairstyles, and by 'extreme', I mean questionable. If you ever wanted to feel nostalgia while questioning your life choices, this pinball title might just hit your ‘bumpers’ wrong. Developed by Digital Extremes and published by the illustrious Electronic Arts, this game is a fine example of when 'let's make a video game' meets 'how hard can it be?'

Gameplay

Let's get real: pinball is supposed to be a glorious cacophony of flashing lights, clanking sounds, and that weird satisfaction you get from slamming the flipper button and watching a little silver ball go flying across the table. In Extreme Pinball, you might be left wondering if you accidentally loaded a table from your grandmother’s basement that hasn’t been updated since the Carter administration. The game features various pinball tables, but calling them ‘various’ is like calling a buckled slice of pizza 'varied cuisine.' Each table boasts a unique theme, such as apartments, cars, and whatever else could be vaguely considered as 'extreme.' However, the play is disappointingly sluggish. Basically, if you’ve ever wanted to see how it feels to be standing in a pool of molasses while navigating a moving treadmill, just play Extreme Pinball. Find the ball, try to nudge it, fail to nail those high scores, and then watch as your dreams crash harder than a mid-90s band trying to reinvent their sound. Multiplayer sounds fun on paper but remember the last time you tried to play Monopoly with friends? Yeah, that kind of chaos could go down here too, except no one’s flipping the board; they’re flipping their attention to their phones.

Graphics

Let’s talk about the graphics, which could best be described as 'retro charm'– or as I prefer, 'that was a choice.' The visuals had some potential if you squint really hard, but it mostly looks like a PlayStation launch title that got lost in the process before someone decided to throw it out for a good ol’ nostalgia trip. Forget high-definition graphics; we’re looking at jagged edges, colors you might find in a box in a kindergarten craft room, and a background echoing the excitement of a dial-up internet connection. Now, for the animations, imagine watching a rock tumble down a hill in slow motion: that’s the level of excitement you’ll feel as you watch the animations unfold. The balls practically move as if they’re debating getting to the flippers. Watching them is like inviting a sloth to a sprinting contest.

Conclusion

Extreme Pinball is the kind of game you play when you want to feel less bad about your overall choice of activity – like choosing to watch every episode of a reality show about dumpster divers instead of getting out of the house. It’s not the worst game out there, but it’s not a wild ride either; for every exhilarating flip and twist, you’ll probably experience about a dozen moments where you find yourself playing more out of pity than enjoyment. In the end, let’s just say that Extreme Pinball is one of those titles whose presence doesn’t instigate thoughts of grandeur; it’s simply a sturdy reminder that just because something is called 'extreme' doesn’t mean it actually has to be – much like that time your buddy said he’d take you skydiving, only to take you to the local trampoline park instead. If you’re on nostalgia patrol or want proof of how far we've come or just want to say you ‘tried’ it in 1996, then dust off that old console and given it a go. Otherwise, steer clear and invest in something a bit less... extreme.

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