KISS Pinball is like that weird uncle at every family reunion: slightly embarrassing, out-of-touch, yet somehow, you can't look away. Released on PlayStation in 2001, this game draws inspiration from the iconic rock band KISS, bringing their flamboyant personality to the realm of pinball. However, get ready to discover why this title received more skepticism than praise (and not just because it sounds like a bad pun).
Gameplay revolves primarily around hitting targets to kick off KISS shows and hitting yet more targets to complete them, like an endless cycle of concert preparation that never quite gets off the ground. With two tables, Last Stop Oblivion and Netherworld, players must navigate through a labyrinth of ramps and targets that, while visually exciting, ultimately yields a feeling of satisfaction comparable to that of a soggy sandwich. The mechanics are straightforward-just assume fish-out-of-water control with a D-pad that earns itself some serious red flags. Nudge the ball? Sure! Just jiggle it an inch-congrats, you're now an unlicensed D-pad DJ, producing nothing of worth but frustration! Even the excitement of launching the ball is wasted when the physics seem to have taken a vacation; time to direct your frustration elsewhere! Let's talk about the infamous 'nudging'. With the D-pad, players can nudge the ball; unfortunately, it only makes the ball hop awkwardly a couple of inches. So if you ever dreamed of roaring like Gene Simmons while sending that ball zipping through fantastical pinball creations, prepare to have your dreams dashed, and your twig-like patience stretched.
Graphics in KISS Pinball might make your eyes do a double-take as they scream both '1990s' and 'barely adequate.' In a time where other games were pushing graphical boundaries like hard rockers smashing guitars, KISS Pinball seemed content hanging around the kiddie table. Sure, the tables themselves look colorful and chaotic-a hodgepodge of KISS-related art splattered across the screens-but let's just say the visuals wouldn't impress Steven Spielberg. To add to the confusion, the characters (a.k.a., the band members) appear like poorly animated avatars that are as emotive as a brick wall at a punk rock concert. Overall, the graphics scream, 'Hey, we tried!'-which would be endearing if they didn't seem deceptively animated, leaving players wondering if docu-footage of cooling paint would yield more excitement. One could even argue that the disappointment is part of the thrill!
KISS Pinball is the dubious child of an overachieving band and a lackluster developer. On one hand, KISS fans might find a peculiar charm in its half-hearted glorification of the band, but pinball enthusiasts will either career toward rage-quitting or suggest to go back to synthesizing 8-bit chip tunes instead. With a Metacritic score hovering at 26/100 for the PlayStation and 36% on GameRankings, you know it's not going to be the most popular choice at the arcade. Despite the initial allure of rocking out with KISS, the gameplay simplicity, lackluster graphics, and the outright awkward physics mechanics render this title as a definite NO from repeat play. In short, save yourself the challenge and grab that old vinyl of KISS instead. At least that won't give you digital whiplash as you watch your pinball dreams cascade down the drains of mediocrity. KISS Pinball hits hard, but alas, it only hits the bad notes!
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