In a world where remasters typically mean subtle homage and improvement, ‘Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy – The Definitive Edition’ charges in like a bull in a china shop, a bull that took a few too many shots of tequila the night before and has no idea where it’s going. This nostalgic trip through three classic entries of the Grand Theft Auto series has more potholes than a New York City road in winter.
The gameplay remains rooted in the time-honored tradition of chaotic, rampaging mayhem, which begs the question: Why change perfection? You drive, shoot, and steal your way through Liberty City, Vice City, and San Andreas as if this is an elaborate grocery list from an overcaffeinated shopper. Claude, Tommy, and CJ each brought their own flair to crime, and while the controls have been dragged, kicking and screaming, into 2023 standards — the shooting mechanics are upgraded, the navigation system improves — it's akin to giving your dad a new T-shirt and calling it a makeover.
Visually, it’s as if someone hit the reset button on a game that had already seen its fair share of street cred. Comparing the old and new is like watching a commercial with a supermodel followed by your last Tinder date — both have their charm, but one looks like it's hoping to get cast in a movie, while the other is praying no one swipes right on that profile again. Enhanced lighting and textures may appease some hard-core fans, but many characters now resemble badly designed action figures that were left out in the rain. The infamous rain itself became a meme, looking more like someone dumped a bucket of water over the screen than authentic precipitation.
In summation, ‘Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy – The Definitive Edition’ feels more like farce than a definitive addition. The enhancements do little to mask the glaring issues, and while it might scratch that nostalgic itch for a brief moment, it's hard to ignore the fact that this collection ended up being defined more by its uneven execution. If the original trilogy was a perfectly aged wine, then this remaster is more akin to a boxed variety — you get what you pay for, which might provide an unexpected laugh or two, but is best enjoyed in moderation.