Introduction

The Callisto Protocol, or as I like to call it, "Dead Space Lite: The Recovery Phase." Created by the geniuses who brought you Dead Space, you'd think they would’ve remembered how to make a game not just terrifyingly dark but also terrifyingly entertaining. Spoiler alert: they forgot the second part. Buckle up, space cadets; it's time to dive into a world where the only thing thicker than the plot is the darkness.

Gameplay

You play as Jacob Lee, a starship captain who ends up on Callisto. I guess the job description should include 'avoid being captured by bizarre mutant inmates.' The gameplay features a third-person perspective, which means you'll be dodging enemies while cursing the developers for making combat feel one-thread-short of thrilling. You'll use weapons, dodge and engage in melee mayhem. Players are advised not to expect much from headshots, which, if you ask me, just takes the thrill out of a good 'bang' and leaves you more like, 'bang? Scratch that—please don't touch.' And of course, the best part? Collecting audio logs because heaven forbid we simply relax and enjoy the chaos.

Graphics

The graphics are visually striking. It's like a glam rock concert in a horror movie. You got your lovely ray-traced eyeballs gazing into the abyss. But the game’s technical performance sometimes stutters more than a nervous kid on a first date. Surprising, given their pedigree. Even the muffled screams of the biophages can’t solve the occasional frame rate issues. It seems the frights were overshadowed by some performance woes, which makes me wonder if their office sounds like a broken record of 'Don't load that texture!'

Conclusion

In summary, The Callisto Protocol delivers a mixed bag of cosmic horrors. It has solid visuals and some jump scares, but it's pretty much like dating—a lot of disappointment with a few sweet moments (mostly when you kick mutated butt). While it tries hard to live up to the Dead Space legacy, it either eagerly waits for more seasoning or just gets lost in space. So unless you're really keen on exploring the inner workings of space prisons and love audios logs as much as I love pizza, you might want to hold off on this one, unless it’s on sale. I’m giving it a 6 out of 10 for trying but kinda failing—sort of like how I tried cooking once and failed spectacularly.

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