Introduction

Picture this: it's the early 80s, and you're in your parents' basement, dodging your chores while playing the heyday of gaming classics. Fast forward to 2011, and what do you get? Rush'n Attack: Ex-Patriot! This sequel to the delightful but slightly bonkers original hopes to recapture that chaotic magic, but instead, it's like trying to squeeze into your high school jeans - the nostalgia is real, but it just doesn't fit! Buckle up as we delve into Sid Morrow's story and the role he plays in this somewhat confusing, not-so-nostalgic revival.

Gameplay

Gameplay centers around Sergeant Sid Morrow, an American agent with the ominously cool codename 'Wolf Spider'. While it sounds like the name of a mid-level Marvel character, Sid's real quest entails rescuing an abandoned team member from a Russian military base, because who wouldn't want to be sent into hostile territory with nothing but a knife? The gameplay essentially revolves around this idea: stabbing your way through enemies in a stealthy fashion, combined with the classic 2D action elements you all remember fondly - but now with fancy 3D effects. Ridiculously, in this game, the player is meant to engage in stealth-based combat but with the alarm-triggering, bang-your-head-against-the-wall frustration of a toddler who has just discovered how to open the cookie jar. The player starts with, you guessed it, a trusty knife, gradually transitioning to more lethal options like hamburgers... Sorry, I meant grenades and rocket launchers. The real fun comes with mastering your shank combos - think 'How to stab with style' classes where you juggle enemies like they're your juggling club! The addition of collectibles (including night vision goggles, because who doesn't love feeling like a secret agent?) combines a bit of metroidvania-style exploration with your usual stabby-fun. However, the illusion quickly crumbles when you realize the levels are more linear than a spaghetti noodle. And forgot an inkling of tactical planning? Good luck - much like your grandma's Thanksgiving dinner, one misstep might just lead to a massacre of enemies and a health bar that drops faster than your will to live during a family gathering. Pro tip: make sure to spend time in dark places and sneak up on folks like you're a secretive ninja instead of a wannabe G.I. Joe, and you'll earn yourself a higher score!

Graphics

For a game released in 2011, the graphics are a wild mix of outdated and mediocre. Generally, the use of Unreal Engine 3 promised a better visual experience than the 80s classic, but instead it feels trapped in a mid-00s visual purgatory. Imagine if a retro game got a facelift from someone with a shaky hand and questionable taste in color palettes. The backgrounds and enemy designs are a mixed bag ranging from impressively intricate to laughably simplistic. We've got lovely 2.5D backgrounds, but the combat animations could use some work... like the type where you beg the devs to hand over their coffee and put down their keyboards! If your major concern while playing is waiting to see what cringeworthy design elements will pop out next, you're in luck. The characters are fun to look at if you squint a little, but let's not kid ourselves - they won't win any fashion awards anytime soon. The most astonishing contribution to the patriotic theme is Sid's tactical gear that looks just like your average kid playing dress-up. Why wear camo when you can wear a denim jacket, right?!

Conclusion

So, does Rush'n Attack: Ex-Patriot hold the torch for looming nostalgia, or does it smack you upside the head with that harsh realization that some things are best left in the past? You'd be better off unearthing that dusty NES and giving the original a spin instead of struggling through this lackluster revival. With a gameplay system that feels repetitively linear and graphics that may convince you 2011 is still a distant dream, consider Ex-Patriot more of a soft reminder of nostalgia rather than a celebrated homecoming. Those hoping to recapture their golden gaming years might find themselves wandering off in search of greener pastures instead of fighting through the messy confines of a plot that fails to engage the player. If you're searching for a slice of that classic action while simultaneously discovering just how far we've come in the gaming world, lift your coffee mugs in its honor and then quickly realize it's definitely not worth a second sip. 4/10, and trust me, that's being generous! Now let's all collectively forget this existed, yeah?

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