Introduction

In the grand pantheon of survival games, 'Conan Exiles' finds itself lounging at a bar surrounded by other titles, flexing its muscles and asking if you’ve ever seen a crocodile in a snood. Set in the thrill-packed world of 'Conan the Barbarian', this game dares you to trek through harsh deserts and frosty mountains as you aim to build an empire. Or just get mauled by a very hungry hyena. Your call, really.

Gameplay

Picture this: you wake up on a cross, which seems like an aggressive way to welcome you to a game. You're quickly saved by Conan himself, who appears to be one of the least picky rescuers—though your choices in character customization after that might suggest a few of those options should have been cut from the final game. From there, gameplay essentially involves an endless tussle with the elements, other players, and your own exhaustion. You’ll collect resources, build a house that looks like it belonged to a particularly ambitious raccoon, and fend off everything from dragons to fellow players with a vendetta. Rumor has it the player base includes a fair amount of people trying to build glorified huts while shouting ‘It’s not a house, it’s an experience!’ Character creation is like a trip to an overly fancy spa where you can decide your character’s gender, race, voice, and all the sliders you can handle. You even have sliders for breast and penis size. Keep it tasteful, everyone. Your choices affect your experience (more specifically, your ability to inspire despair in other players who just wanted to mine in peace). Religion also plays a significant role—you can worship a pantheon of gods or just choose the one who seems the least exhausting.

Graphics

Visually, 'Conan Exiles' is certainly a treat. Think of it as a stunning oil painting of a sunset, if that sunset were about to be the end of PvP for someone. The landscapes are beautifully rendered, transitioning from sun-scorched deserts to snowy tundras that slyly suggest that perhaps you should've packed a sweater for your journey. Character models can be quite impressive too, though NPCs often look like they’re having an existential crisis. You’ll frequently encounter the same facial animations to the point where you’ll start wondering if there’s a cloning factory in the game. But hey, it’s all part of the charm of battling for survival in a world that feels like a masochistic vacation on a budget.

Conclusion

'Conan Exiles' is an ambitious endeavor that manages to hang out comfortably on the survival game tree, even if it occasionally shakes a few bad apples onto your head. Despite mixed reviews, it secured a decent-sized audience, especially among those looking to dive into an MMORPG full of bizarre nudity options and brutal gameplay mechanics that make you question your life choices. Ultimately, it delivers in its promises of barbaric survival, thrilling escapades, and more degrees of freedom than you might find in your high school prom plans. If you happen to like scenarios where you could die at any moment—whether from starvation, a backstabber, or the world's most stubborn rock—grab your controller and dive in. Just remember to keep the first aid kit on hand, just in case those hyenas turn out to be a bit more than you bargained for.

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