Elden Ring, the latest installment from the unmatched bastions of suffering at FromSoftware, is basically like walking through a giant IKEA, but instead of fake plants and soul-sucking furniture, you get roaming dragons and a thousand ways to die. If you've ever thought, 'How can I combine my love for exploration with the constant threat of dying in the most spectacularly embarrassing way possible?' well, congratulations, you've found what you need.
Set in the hauntingly beautiful "Lands Between," Elden Ring lets players lose themselves (and their sanity) exploring a vast world that's both stunning and horrifying. Players pick their character from various classes, each with its delightful quirks. Want to be a mage who can barely cast a spell without falling asleep? Done. Prefer to be a knight who charges into battle without a plan and uses their sword like an oversized toothpick? Sure thing. Within moments, you're dodging, rolling, and swinging your way through swarms of enemies like you're in an action movie but are actually just a deer in the headlights of life. The combat is as fluid as a smooth peanut butter that sticks to the roof of your mouth at the most inconvenient times. You have a plethora of weapons at your disposal, and if that's not enough, there's a plethora of sorceries and incantations. Just don't be surprised when you spend more time figuring out the intricacies of the combat system than fighting actual bad guys. It's all part of the delightful learning curve that comes with this game. Think of it as your final exam in 'How to Persevere While Getting Absolutely Wrecked.' Another joy comes from its checkpoints, known as "Sites of Grace." These lovely little spots provide the soul-refreshing respite you knew you needed, until they don't, mostly because dying at crucial moments means losing all your precious runes. Talk about pressure! Fast travel lets you hop between these sites, making it possible to avoid areas that would otherwise be a death trap for the unprepared, making strategic retreat a genuine option. Imagine the satisfaction in returning to crush the souls of the enemies that crushed your own just moments before. Payback is sweet, especially when you've lost it all and somehow retained a still-breathing penchant for vengeance.
The graphics are a concoction of artistry and chaos. Elden Ring's landscapes oscillate between dazzling beauty and eerie dread, with environments that feel painstakingly crafted. From lush forests to sunless caverns, you might just find yourself pausing every now and then to whip out your phone and capture a screenshot, because how else would you prove your time spent in this pixelated purgatory to your friends? True, the PS4 version does operate at a significantly lower fidelity than the PS5's, which means if you have a choice, do yourself a favor and upgrade your console. Character designs range from cryptic to utterly terrifying-perfect for that live-action adaptation they keep teasing. Seriously, I might need a new wardrobe because everything from the armor to the enchanted weapons looks more fashionable than half of my closet. If there was ever an award for the "Best Dressed Death," Elden Ring would clean house.
Elden Ring does what many thought impossible: it manages to be both an ode to open-world exploration and a nod to the punishing difficulty that FromSoftware fans crave. It entices adventure seekers who also happen to enjoy throwing controllers in disbelief at difficulty spikes. If you can handle the kind of frustration that makes your blood boil and belly laugh at its beautifully crafted chaos, then you're in for a treat. Just remember, at the end of the day, it's only a game-unless you stomp on your controller in frustration, then it's a very personal problem. Bring your wit, your resilience, and your willingness to die repeatedly. In the Lands Between, 'you died' isn't just a phrase; it's a lifestyle. So strap in and prepare for the ultimate experience of masochism, frustration, and unexpected joy. You won't regret it... mostly.