Oct 2014
Welcome to ‘How to Survive: Storm Warning Edition,’ the game that teaches you more about survival than your last failed camping trip. You’d think after watching, like, every season of ‘Survivor’ we’d all be experts. Spoiler: we’re not. Now, let’s dive into this pixelated apocalypse.
The gameplay experience is astonishingly reminiscent of yelling at your TV while simultaneously trying to bathe your cat. Adrenaline pumping, your primary objective is to escape the clutches of the undead. You choose between one of three survivors, each with more baggage than a first-class traveler. There’s Kenji, the all-rounder, Abbie, who’s faster than your Wi-Fi, and Jack, who could probably bench-press a car but still can't open a can of beans without assistance. Players can play story mode like a beloved Netflix series or challenge mode, designed to make you feel as if you’ve actually run a marathon (without the actual benefit of exercise). Your task is simple: get from point A to point B without letting one of the many zombie beauties turn you into breakfast. Crafting materials becomes your second language as you build weapons and tools that are surprisingly effective while raising your blood pressure a few notches. Neither mode has a timer, which means nothing screams procrastination like on-the-spot decision-making while being chased by a horde of pixelated zombies. Your survival skills will be tested; you need food, shelter, and a good crafting guide, which, coincidentally, is what you tell everyone when they ask why you’re still single.
Graphically, calling it outdated would be similar to calling a zombie ‘slightly undercooked.’ The visuals on PS4 are certainly sharper than your old PS3 copy, but let’s face it, they won't win any awards any time soon. The environments are certainly colorful in a ‘hey, this jungle is kind of nice until you remember there are hungry zombies waiting to gnaw on your left foot’ way. It’s a top-down view that throws back to the days of gaming when the biggest concern was finding the next level without facing immediate doom. Character models? They look like they’ve been out for a weekend bender instead of wrestling zombies. Animation-wise, it's a little jankier than your grandma’s dance moves at weddings, but it somehow adds to the charm. You’ll be too busy dodging carnivorous monstrosities to notice you look like a raggedy action figure.
In conclusion, ‘How to Survive: Storm Warning Edition’ is your chance to live out your post-apocalyptic dreams or, you know, fail miserably as you get torn apart faster than a Monday morning. Mechanics are decent, crafting is enjoyable, and you’ll learn just enough about survival to freak out your friends when camping comes up. Is it groundbreaking? Not exactly. But it’s a solid companion in the world of indie survival games, and frankly, it’s probably more entertaining than watching paint dry or enduring another unite-the-gamepad tutorial. So, gear up, craft that trusty paddle, and hope that the only storm you deal with is the one in your mind about where you parked your last hope for survival. Well worth a buy if you want a laugh, but maybe wait for a good sale. Who are we kidding? No one pays full price for anything anymore.
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