Jun 2021
For those who thought never ending adventures were the stuff of fairy tales, allow me to introduce The Elder Scrolls Online (ESO) - a game so sprawling you might need a map, a snack, and a six-month plan to conquer it. It magically transforms your couch into a throne (complete with take-out containers and soda cans) as you explore the vast landscapes of Tamriel, slaying dragons and managing your inbox — yes, that’s right, you’ll be fighting the good fight while also failing to read the latest emails from Amazon. But hey, let’s dive into what truly makes this game something worth mentioning at your next friends' night.
The gameplay loop is about as intricate as a magic trick performed by a semi-distracted mage. You start off selecting from a veritable buffet of races and classes - from the mighty Nord who wrestles bear-sized dogs to the spellflinging Altmer who probably lost their wand during a party (again). Then it’s time to don your adventure pants and get questing in the breathtaking world of Tamriel. You'll either be running errands for NPCs (because that’s what heroes do) or engaging in epic battles against foes who are just trying to hit you with a really badly aimed fireball. Choose from a plethora of crafting and skill options because what’s better than fighting? Crafting! Watch as you can spend hours gathering materials while muttering, 'Is this really what adulting looks like?'
On a technical scale, the graphics on the PS5 are about as sharp as a sword forged by a happy Dwarven blacksmith, though it’s a tad questionable how a game this massive manages to run as smoothly as freshly ironed robes. The terrains are full of fantastical sights that make you think, 'Hey, maybe I should take a vacation here (once I acquire that hefty in-game gold and some reliable transportation).' The visuals truly capture the essence of high fantasy, and you even catch glimpses of giant world bosses that will make you reevaluate your life choices more than your last trip to the bathroom after Taco Tuesday.
If you're still not convinced, consider this: ESO boasts a player base of millions who are probably squabbling over who gets to steal the last piece of loot after taking down a particularly nasty dragon. Between expansions and updates, there's more than enough content to keep you binging in front of your screen until your controller frantically begs for your attention. So if you’re up for a voyage filled with adventure, dragons, and crafting arcs that put your neighborhood DIY guru to shame – grab your snacks, set your coffee pot to running, and get ready to lose yourself in a world where the coffee spills may take your character out more than a Daedric Prince would. ESO is an MMORPG worth your time and wallet. Grab your PS5, your battle gear, and let lose on Tamriel – you’ll either leave your mark, or perhaps just your pizza crusts on the couch. Either way, your adventure awaits!
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