Introduction

Ah, Gollum. That iconic little double-headed monster of a character from Tolkien's epic saga. He’s sinister, he’s stylishly disheveled, and now he’s the star of his very own video game. But hold onto your precious game controllers, folks, because this is not the journey Middle-earth fans were hoping for. Spoiler alert: it’s a wild ride but entirely lackluster in execution, akin to finding a half-eaten second breakfast that you forgot you left under your couch.

Gameplay

In the grand fashion of stealthy platformers, you will be embodying Gollum throughout various parts of Middle-earth, such as Cirith Ungol and Mirkwood. This makes for some stunning, albeit static, vistas, but more importantly, this game forces you to be a sneaky little scamp. Gollum can climb, glide, and skulk about like an acrobat with a serious identity crisis. However, it’s a little less exhilarating than it sounds: the controls are a little clunky, the AI of enemies feels like they’ve taken a few too many naps, and trying to execute stealth maneuvers can often result in blind panic and, of course, a swift death. Revel in the suspense of either running or getting caught—because, friend, once you’re caught, it’s game over. I guess Gollum's charm doesn’t translate well into gameplay after all. Unpacking Gollum’s dual nature—Sméagol versus Gollum—is supposed to be a thrilling narrative mechanic, but in reality, it comes across like a high school debate club that forgot to prepare. Players can choose between dialogue options that represent either side of Gollum’s psyche, which could have added a thrilling depth, but mostly feels tacked on like a poorly glued together piece of artwork. It's a mix of options that leaves more to be desired, especially when your options are often limited to 'Whine' or 'Whimper.' Instead of glorious boss battles or fascinating character-driven moments, you’ll be collecting items, following other characters, or standing in line—yes, literally standing in line. I think I've experienced more substantial engagement at the DMV. The gameplay, aiming for a suspense-filled experience, ends up making you wonder if the whole thing was just a prank. Did the producers hand the script to Gollum himself to write? I wouldn't be surprised. Overall, gameplay can either make you feel like you are earning Sauron’s ire or just wonder where you left your last snack. Either way, this game can be summed up in two words: “Been there.”

Graphics

Graphically, imagine a beautiful painting that has been splattered with paint, stomped on, and then exposed to a heatwave whilst being viewed on an old TV set. Look, the environments have potential. The lavish world of Middle-earth is undeniably gorgeous—when it’s not marred by weird bugs that would make a roach run in terror. Lighting can be quite breathtaking, and there are moments when the game shines but, good grief, those character models leave much to be desired. Gollum's design straddles the line between creepy and goofy, like someone left the Halloween decorations out past Thanksgiving. His face often resembles that of a cat caught in floodlights, trapped in a petrified expression, and somehow manages to make his two personas feel less distinct. Overall, instead of feeling like you are diving deep into Tolkien's world, you often feel like you’ve stepped into a fan-made holiday special.

Conclusion

In summary, 'The Lord of the Rings: Gollum' strives for a thought-provoking, character-driven experience, yet ends up feeling more like a confused jigsaw puzzle missing half its pieces. It’s MMO-reminiscent quests paired with lackluster storytelling that leaves more holes than an Orc's armor in a battle. The catastrophic state in which this game launched has consequently put a sour note on Daedalic's reputation, and as such, the studio has since opted to close its development unit. So, if you were planning to bask in the glory of Gollum’s intricate world, you might want to look elsewhere. Grab your precious and roll on to more well-furnished adventures; maybe even binge-watch the film trilogy—at least that’s a guaranteed good time. Out of ten, I would give this error-prone adventure a solid 3. If I could rate lower, I might just send Gollum back to his cave to sulk, serve him some fish, and tell him that this game might truly be one to avoid.

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