'Alexi Lalas International Soccer'—the game that makes football exciting in a way your grandma's bingo night is exciting. Released back in 1998, this title had high hopes of kicking everything else off the pitch, but instead, it served up a big ol' red card. Grab your shin guards and let’s dive into the technical side of this not-so-international sensation.
Gameplay-wise, don't expect to be playing a game on par with FIFA or PES. Once you jam your hands on the controller (which is more of an art form than a science, trust me), you’ll be greeted by clunky, stiff animations that scream, 'I was programmed in 1998!' The mechanics feel like they were lifted from the stone age of soccer games. Your players seem to obey the laws of physics in a way that suggests they skipped leg day— often veering off in the wrong direction or falling over like they're dodging a parent's question about your future. The sensitivity is questionable at best, and you might feel like an octopus trying to juggle as your players behave more like rambunctious toddlers than international superstars. Moreover, offensive and defensive strategies could be more innovative. Yes, you can pass the ball! And guess what? You can kick it too! But younger players hoping for a tactical football experience will find themselves stuck between ‘kick and hope’ tactics and ‘where the heck did my player run off to?’ Additionally, the lack of analog control is a puzzle. Playing soccer with a directional pad feels about as natural as trying to eat soup with a fork. Sure, you can manage to get the job done, but it’s messy and not nearly as satisfying!
Graphically, 'Alexi Lalas International Soccer' is about as appealing as a wet blanket on a dreary day. The player models look like they were made from LEGO, and the crowd appears as if they were drawn by a kindergarten class learning the art of impressions. It’s charm level is somewhere between “a good try” and “please, no.” Textures are about as detailed as a potato, which makes stadiums look depressingly mediocre. The only thing lower than the graphics is your teammate’s IQ trying to score a goal. If vivid colors and high detail are your jam, this will leave you feeling more like a deflated balloon at a children's party.
In conclusion, 'Alexi Lalas International Soccer' is a prime example of its time: a noble attempt at bringing the world's favorite sport to the digital realm while somehow tripping over its shoelaces and landing flat on its face. It gleams with nostalgia but falters under the weight of a more progressive gaming landscape. So, if you're intrigued by the idea of playing a game that's stuck in a time loop or want a stress-free hour of chuckles, sure, give it a whirl. But don’t go into it expecting to be the next soccer god—you might just end up being the player that everyone else calls in for pizza instead of the match. Overall, if you're deeply interested in mid-'90s gaming like it's an art form, please be my guest! But if you're looking for a solid experience, look elsewhere because this one deserves to be benched.
Another SquareThought Site