Welcome to the wild world of tennis where dreams are made of powerful serves and flashy volleys – oh wait, that’s just all the time you’ll spend ramming your controller trying to hit the ball! In 1999, *All Star Tennis '99* made its way to the PlayStation, brought to you by the fine folks over at Smart Dog (and yes, that’s a real developer name and not just my dog’s nickname). Featuring the legendary Michael Chang on the cover, this game promised epic matches—but did it deliver or just make us want to smash our controllers?
The gameplay is as thrilling as watching paint dry in comparison to a Sergio Ramos dive. You can engage in singles, doubles, or—brace yourself—a thrilling tournament mode! There's even a *World Tour* mode if globetrotting players are your thing. Each match plays out with standard moves, and if all the standard moves make you yawn, there’s an option for three specialty moves that are as unique as your grandma's secret cookies. After each point scored, you earn one of three energy points to unleash a unique move—not that this is going to help when you’re facing your younger sibling who’s just as competitive as they are annoying. And lest we forget, there’s a *Bomb Tennis* mode where a bomb drops where the ball lands. If you don’t run fast enough, BOOM! You’re flat on your face looking like you just lost a match to a toddler. But hey, it’s all in good fun…mostly.
Graphically speaking, you might want to adjust your expectations to ‘meh’. The players move about with the elegance of a sack of potatoes and the backgrounds…well, it looks like they have all the warmth of a cold soup. While it’s not ground-breaking by any means, at least the characters have some recognizable features, as long as you squint your eyes and tilt your head just right. Maybe this was their attempt to create an avant-garde style. Who needs realism when you can have awkward polygons, right?
So, how does *All Star Tennis '99* stack up? It’s a mixed bag of performance, with critics giving it scores ranging from ‘Hey, this isn't that great’ to ‘Why did I waste my money?’ GameRankings sat it at a modest 55%, which is like being the middle child—a bit neglected but not completely ignored. So, if you’re looking for some mediocre tennis action, dust off that old PlayStation of yours and give it a whirl. Just be prepared to scream in frustration intermittently, accompanied by the comforting knowledge that you’re not alone in this bizarre world of questionable tennis simulations. But for now, let's just say this game will only have you saying ‘Game, Set, Mismatch!’
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