Ah, 'Blast Lacrosse'. Who knew the world of video games was craving more whacking, ball-chasing and stick-twirling? Brace yourself, because we are diving deep into a game that sounds like it should come with a pair of long socks and a questionable sense of style. Released back in the golden age of 2001, when everyone was still deciding between dial-up and DSL, this game attempts to encapsulate the riveting sport of box lacrosse – a sport that, much like your uncle at family gatherings, tends to be either revelatory or utterly baffling.
First, let’s talk mechanics: 'Blast Lacrosse' is as basic as a vanilla ice cream cone. You have two teams of five players each, which feels oddly familiar and yet distinctively off, like a cousin at Thanksgiving who has undergone a slightly concerning personality change. Your objective? Try to score more points than the opposition by throwing a ball into a net while everyone simultaneously shoves each other around. Yes, punching in lacrosse is not just allowed; it’s celebrated! Just remember, each character controls like a lumbering buffalo on skates. Success is best achieved through a combination of button mashing and sheer luck. Forget strategy; if it works, it’s valid.
Graphically, 'Blast Lacrosse' is about on par with someone’s toddler drawing on a napkin. Not to say there wasn’t an effort, but consider this: the graphics appear to be stuck in an existential crisis, trapped somewhere between the pixelated glory of the 90s and that less impressive murmur of early 2000s 3D. Characters are blocky and the crowd’s enthusiasm looks like they are auditioning for a part in a horror film. If you’re into that grunge aesthetic, this might just tickle your pickle.
'Blast Lacrosse' is like that friend who really tried to impress you with a sport you’ve never liked, ending with you wondering why you’re still friends to begin with. It has its charm, but let’s be real, it’s about as satisfying as a salad at a barbecue. If you find yourself craving a sports game and your only other option is a two-hour lecture on the history of potato farming, it might be worth a shot. Otherwise, I suggest you put down the controller, maybe pick up an actual lacrosse stick, and find out if the sport has any redeeming qualities outside of a hyper-competitive video game. Remember, sometimes, it's better to just stick to your comfort zone and avoid anything that requires a minigame full of faceoffs and simulated elbow-throwing. Rating? It's a lukewarm 5 out of 10 for a game that, much like the sport it's based on, might be better enjoyed in person than through a polygon.
Another SquareThought Site