Cu-On-Pa, or as the West might have called it, 'What on Earth Are You Doing with Your Life?' is a puzzle game more focused on self-improvement than actual gaming skill. Picture a cube experiencing an existential crisis as it rolls through a colorfully carpeted world, gathering life's little tiles of joy—also known as 'life force tiles.' If you're looking for a psychedelic trip filled with flirtations of motivational affirmations, strap in and grab your nearest cube.
The primary objective is simple: roll this cube around a grid-like board, matching colors and collecting life force tiles. Because, well, who doesn’t want to collect life force? It’s like Pokémon for cubes. Each game consists of various levels with a set time limit and an annoyingly specific life force target. Miss the mark, and the game taunts you as you perish, probably screaming, 'I am powerful!' at your failures. Cu-On-Pa offers three game modes: Longevity, where you avoid losing consciousness for as long as possible; Abundance, where you hustle your cube through a set number of levels; and Quickening, where levels become increasingly insane, like your caffeine levels after a Red Bull binge. Navigating the grid might feel therapeutic, but let's be honest; it’s more about rolling with it or just wondering why you didn’t choose a different game to spend your free time on. You'll be tapping your fingers against the table, wondering how it ever got to this point in your life. Be prepared for a lot of rolling around, colorful motions, and maybe even a little bit of zen if you’re lucky. Or you could just end up frustrated because how the heck does a cube become a zen master, anyway?
In terms of visuals, if you were expecting jaw-dropping realism, you might have strolled into the wrong dimension. The art style is colorful enough to give you a sugar rush, though it may also induce mild hallucinations. The graphics are reminiscent of a very enthusiastic four-year-old's finger-painting project, complete with wobbly lines and a lot of effort poured into it. However, if minimalism is your thing, you might just find the simplistic charm appealing. It’s like Picasso's 'Blue Period' if it included cubes instead of sad faces. Would your art-loving friend call it 'provocative'? Possibly. Would they also question your sanity? Almost definitely.
Ultimately, Cu-On-Pa sits like a puzzle piece from a long-forgotten jigsaw next to a stunning painting in a gallery. It may not take the top prize, but it certainly offers a quirky experience filled with subliminal suggestions of happiness and love—unless that makes it too weird for you, in which case, there's a sound menu option for turning that nonsense off. With charmingly odd graphics and a gameplay style that could serve as an introduction to mindfulness, you might walk away from this game feeling oddly uplifted—if you make it through the levels without losing your sanity first. But for all its peculiarities, Cu-On-Pa is a captivating snapshot of 90s gaming and real self-care, even if it rolls into your heart like an awkward, but well-meaning, cube.
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