Introduction

Welcome aboard the most ill-fated train ride since someone thought it was a good idea to put a chocolate fountain in a hot tub. Murder on the Eurasia Express is a video game that combines the classiness of a detective story with the cheesiness of live-action FMV (that’s Full Motion Video for you youngins). Set in a world where you have about as much time to solve a murder as it takes to reheat a pizza, this game delivers an experience that is both deliciously entertaining and utterly ridiculous.

Gameplay

In this game, players take on the role of a private detective who is invited aboard a fancy train trip that thinks it's a murder mystery party rather than a scenic journey. You immediately find yourself in a classic whodunit situation when a fellow passenger bites the dust (not the good kind, mind you). Your mission? Investigate the murder on a tight schedule, while interacting with an all-girls private school – because why not make it more complicated? The gameplay mechanics tap into the antiquated yet charming interaction cues of the late '90s. You’ll guide your detective character through the train, interacting with passengers and suspects using a simple D-pad – the kind of control that was revolutionary back when Pogs were still a thing. Conversations reveal clues through a dialogue box that feels like you’re reading a slightly dramatic version of a Choose Your Own Adventure book – but with fewer dragons. What really makes the game unique is the two-hour real-time investigation period. That’s right; you’re racing against the clock, collecting items and memos like a hoarder on a mission. The pocket watch may cause a little panic as you check it often, symbolizing the real pressure to close your investigation before the game closes you out faster than an unwanted conversation at a dinner party. Plus, collectibles can lead to multiple endings, so getting it right feels more satisfying than the last piece of pie on Thanksgiving.

Graphics

Graphically speaking, Murder on the Eurasia Express rides the line between nostalgia and ‘Wow, this didn’t age well.’ The entire experience is shot in live-action video with actors straight out of the late '90s Japanese pop scene. This means flashy fashion choices, awkward camera angles, and enough dramatic flair to make a telenovela cringe. The video quality feels like it’s been borrowed from an old VHS tape, adding to the quirky charm in an unintended sort of way. In terms of environments, the train setting is captivating enough, and you'll find it quite immersive that is, until you realize you’re stuck on a train for the whole game. The menu screens and item displays have that charming retro feel which is reminiscent of browsing through a web page in the 90s – complete with pixelated images and text that may or may not be a little hard to read. If you can get past these quirks, the nostalgia might just cause you to pull out your old school Walkman and crank some Boyz II Men while you play.

Conclusion

Murder on the Eurasia Express is a delightful experience for those who love blending contextually ridiculous stories with interactive gameplay. Sure, it might be more of a relic from the past than a cutting-edge adventure, but its charm lies in its absurdity and straightforward mission: solve the murder while interacting with schoolgirls who are perhaps more suspicious than they appear. Although it may not earn top marks in modern graphics or gaming mechanics, it remains a gem for those in search of quirky, interactive storytelling. Just remember, don't try to take this game too seriously – or the train will definitely derail, and you'll end up with a murder mystery of your own... the kind that lands in the Netflix true crime category.

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