Golf... a sport that combines the thrill of competition, the joy of being outdoors, and the frustration of trying to hit a tiny ball into a tiny hole. For those of us who prefer our golf without the sunburn, sticky humidity, and feeling of existential dread, there's PGA Tour 96. Sure, it may not necessarily be the most convincing argument for staying indoors, but it sure does give you a solid excuse to avoid conversations with your neighbor about their lawn care routine.
PGA Tour 96 proudly rehashes the familiar mechanics of its predecessors, featuring only ten pro golfers, which frankly feels like a high school reunion where only the unpopular kids showed up. You'll grind your way through four modes: stroke play, match play, tournament mode, and practice mode. If only they had a mode for 'Screaming at the TV' for when your golfer sends the ball into the water hazard for the fourth time in a row. Golf clubs? Oh, they magically appear thanks to your computer-controlled caddy, who apparently has a better sense of what to do than you do. But fear not, players can still select between 10 famous golfers (because branding), but there are fewer courses than in the last installment-talk about a downsizing, huh? You can putt it out on the Spyglass Hill or the TPC at Sawgrass, which might have been thrilling if you were awake enough to notice that the ball revolves the same direction every time.
Visuals can be a make-or-break thing in any game, and in this case, they sort of just... exist. The graphics are pretty as long as you don't hang around certain camera angles that make the characters look like they were made of Play-Doh. background images scream '90s nostalgia,' where polygons were beginning to take form but still looked more like sad triangles than lavish landscapes. Still, the digitized sprites of the golfers give a haunting meaning to the phrase 'pixelated charm.' If this were a horror game, those visuals would easily give anyone nightmares; virtual golfers missing limbs and oddly stiff animations as they swing... what a sight.
In short, PGA Tour 96 is like a 'mature' adult playground that gets by on the legacy of its series rather than real innovation. Is this golf simulation revolutionary? Not even close. It's essentially a nod to nostalgia with a few glaring quirks. For fans with a golf obsession, it does give you a decent enough reason to dust off grandma's old PlayStation. However, for those of us who favor more excitement than taking a nap on the couch, let's just say it's best paired with a cool lemonade and a little side-eye when someone asks you if you want to play outside. A solid 6 for trying, but let's face it-nothing gets your heart racing quite like watching the grass grow in fast forward.
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