Sep 2018
Welcome to the realm of Immortal: Unchained, where the philosophy of 'Hey, let's make Dark Souls but with guns' reigns supreme. Apparently, after getting the memo about how much gamers love to rage, Toadman Interactive decided that nothing screams 'fun' like a grueling experience in a world that’s about as friendly as a porcupine in a balloon factory. Buckle up as we embark on a journey that’s equal parts futuristic firearms and Norse mythology — a combination nobody asked for but we got anyway.
If you've ever wondered how it feels to shoot a gun while simultaneously regretting every life choice you've made, then you're in for a treat. The gameplay is essentially Dark Souls in a sci-fi setting with an emphasis on gunplay rather than swing-swing-melee. You control an unnamed Prisoner — and no, this isn’t an Avatar situation, so you can skip the therapy sessions to find yourself. You’ll be tasked with restoring three Nexus Orbs while battling hordes of undead and other lovely adversaries eager to ruin your day. The combat revolves around targeting critical points like headshots or glowing weak spots, which, spoiler alert: is a bit like asking a cat to catch lasers — fun to watch but generally ineffective. So get ready for that classic 'die, respawn, and die again' cycle that brings back the feeling of hopelessness many of us experienced during our final year of high school.
The graphics are about as polished as your conversations with your crush — they look good most of the time but leave you a little confused. The environments range from icy wastelands to lush forests, and while they try hard to impress, they often fall flat like a bad soufflé. Character models and enemy designs are decent enough, but let’s be real; you won't be applauding them. Prepare to gaze upon the same undead minions so many times that you’ll start naming them for personal entertainment. If only the game came with a built-in skip button for the repetitive environments and generic designs, it would have saved everyone involved some time and sanity.
Immortal: Unchained feels like it’s caught between a rock and a hard place — it wanted to be a thrilling fusion of action RPG and sci-fi shooter but instead ended up as an awkward middle child of gaming genres. It's not quite the nightmare you would expect, but rather a slightly mismatched attempt that sometimes hits the mark, but mostly misses like your friend at bowling night after three consecutive gutter balls. Still, if you're a glutton for punishment or have a soft spot for Norse mythology, there are worse ways to spend your time than blasting your way through Undead Triads. Just remember: patience is key, and so is a plentiful supply of snacks to fuel your endless attempts to get through this punishing experience.
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